Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
Although Imposter syndrome is often referred to as a women’s issue, data suggests that up to 82% of people, regardless of gender, experience impostor syndrome at some point in their lives. In fact, I’d say that 99% of men I coach experience some challenges with confidence. The difference is that their struggles often go unseen.
To make matters worse, an economic recession like we’ve seen during the global pandemic can exacerbate existing confidence issues due to a lingering fear or anxiety that your livelihood could be at risk at the slightest misstep. This means that this is a particularly critical time to seek support to bolster your confidence.
Because early research identified the syndrome among high-achieving professional women, there has been a large emphasis on supporting them with this issue at work. However newer findings have documented that these feelings of inadequacy are found equally in men and women and therefore people managers should offer professional development support in this area to all employees. In fact, it may be detrimental to both men and women to continue perpetuating the belief that this is purely a woman’s issue and that men don't experience imposter syndrome.
The good news is, no matter who you are, if you wrestle with imposter syndrome, there are ways you can build up your confidence either on your own or by partnering with a coach.
What is imposter syndrome?
Impostor syndrome describes the experience of doubting your achievements and abilities, attributing your success to outside factors, and fearing that you may be a fraud. You may experience imposter syndrome If you struggle with perfectionism and self-doubt, and if you find it difficult to own your successes.
The topic of imposter syndrome is often discussed in the context of achieving in the workplace because it can increase levels of stress and anxiety, inevitably impacting work performance. A fear of failure may also mean that you’re holding yourself back, avoiding going after promotions or additional responsibilities at work.
However, all is not lost. Understanding why we do this can help.
According to neuroscience, our brains are wired to spot the negative first. This comes from the early days of human evolution when we wandered the plains and we needed to spot a threat which could endanger our lives. But in our modern world, we don’t need to, nor should we, pay as much attention to the negative stimuli as much.
The good news is that our brains have something called neuroplasticity, meaning that we are highly adaptable and we can create new pathways and habits as we practice new ways of thinking.
For example, I worked with a client who was in a highly technical role. We used a psychometric to discover that her Motivational Values System focuses on people and relationships. She tended to be very considerate of others and she would listen first rather than share her own thoughts or opinions. This meant that in leadership meetings she would find that people would often talk over her. Because of that experience she had created a false narrative in her head telling her that nobody wanted to hear what she had to say and that she was not strong enough to speak up.
To help her reframe her narrative, we delved into her strengths and because she had such a deep desire to be helpful to others, we reframed everything around that motivation. So we reflected on questions like, how can you help this leadership meeting function better? Or how can you best serve the people you represent at that meeting? With that mindset shift, she began to feel empowered to be more assertive and contribute more. She was able to shift her perspective from believing that sharing her opinions meant that she was being aggressive or pushy to a lens of being helpful. Then she began to feel more comfortable and confident in sharing her views and opinions in leadership meetings.
Struggling With Confidence in Lonely Leadership
If you are struggling with imposter syndrome, you should know that you are not alone. As an executive coach, confidence is one of the most common challenges I see in my work. In fact, nine out of 10 of my clients in senior positions will ask to address issues of confidence at some point during their coaching journey, including owners of multimillion dollar companies, CEOs, country managers, and even ambassadors. This is surprising for some of my clients, but the truth is most people struggle with these challenges because it’s human to do so.
A lack of confidence tends to be paired in the context of what I call, “lonely leadership,” which is when you as a leader feel that you are always on display, and find it difficult to show certain vulnerabilities. Demonstrating some vulnerabilities are necessary because they make you accessible, but you may feel the need to suppress your more extreme emotions like fear, nervousness or overwhelm.
More often than not, those in high powered positions can feel that failure is seen as a weakness and are therefore petrified of making a misstep. This can create a sense of anxiety about the potential for failure. Adding to the difficulty as a leader is that it can also feel like those around you can’t really have an honest conversation with you or provide authentic feedback, because there's a natural power imbalance.
For instance, I was working with a male executive client who shared that he was feeling uncertain about how he should address a senior colleague who was constantly challenging him in leadership meetings, often leaving him feeling undermined and unconfident. Together we worked on focusing his clear vision for his part of the business and the decisions he was making to drive his team forward. Because we had developed trust and rapport, he was able to share and explore his vulnerabilities with me.
We began by identifying his strengths, personal drivers, and motivations, and then explored which of those areas had previously brought him success in his career. Once those were clear, we identified how he could leverage these strengths to positively impact his current situation. This enabled him to build personal strategies to manage his imposter syndrome, and to reframe the situation from one of, “I'm not able to deal with this,” to, “I know what i need to do to achieve the outcome I want.” Once he shifted his mindset, he was then able to articulate his ideas confidently in the leadership meetings with his senior colleague.
If you’re experiencing “lonely leadership”, you may be a good candidate for seeking out support from an Executive Coach. The relationship with a coach is one where you can develop rapport so that you can then feel safe expressing your true vulnerabilities and receiving honest feedback. If you have a strong relationship with a coach they will help you explore those vulnerabilities to find solutions.
Finding Strategies to Boost Confidence
Each person is unique, but I find most often that we can begin to address imposter syndrome by creating strategies that start with self reflection and then look towards external resources available to you.
First I’ll identify a client’s belief systems, personal values and purpose. We work on shifting the negative beliefs they have about themselves into superpowers, as I did with the client I mentioned earlier. I also like to look at a client’s support network because everyone is stronger when they know that they have a community of support behind them.
To help clients identify their support system, I’ve developed something called “the network map”. Based on a mix of techniques I’ve learned over my career as a leadership trainer, this activity encourages a client to outline a map of support people who fit into the following 6 categories:
those who give me strength and wisdom,
those who help me grow and develop,
those who really listen to me,
those who speak well of me (the cheerleaders),
those who laugh with me,
those who inspire me.
Once you make this list you can see that there are at least six people who are behind you and who you can go to for support when you experience this feeling of loneliness or doubt. This activity also helps to identify any gaps you might have in your network and may highlight the need to develop stronger relationships in different areas of your life.
I hope that some of the strategies I’ve shared here are helpful and that you can begin to find your confidence.
If you are struggling with imposter syndrome at work, it may be time to get outside help.
Get in touch to discuss Executive Coaching options.