Pausing With Me, Myself, And I In A World Gone Mad
“Take a walk with a turtle. And behold the world in pause.”
~ Bruce Feiler
Pre-COVID, most of us could busy ourselves with…busyness. We prided ourselves on being constantly on the go, and maybe, just maybe, got a buzz from one-upping our friends with how much busier we were than them. We may be just as, if not more, busy these days with endless Zoom meetings.
While conclusive data is not yet available (after all, we’re still in the midst of it), companies with tech tools have started to investigate how user activity reveals how busy people are during a pandemic. For example, the virtual private network service NordVPN found that their US users increased daily work hours by 40%. Similarly, Microsoft Teams experienced a 200% increase in user meeting minutes (that’s 2.7 billion - billion! - minutes on Teams alone) between March and April 2020.
Still, for many, there is a lot more quiet time. Time that we used to eat up with commutes and traffic (how many of us admit that we sort of miss that and the ability to complain about that person who cut in front of us). Now, it’s less time with the jerk in the slow lane, and more time with me, myself, and I.
For many, spending this much time alone can be uncomfortable, for it means having to face yourself – where you have been and where you may be going. For many, it is far easier to stay in the busyness of “life” than to actually live “in life” – with all its messiness.
The Power of the Pause
Tim Tompkins speaks about the power of the pause and the importance of reflection and renewal in a world where we won’t ever truly escape the hustle and bustle. Especially now, when the world seems to have gone mad, his advocacy to face the madness, rather than to avoid, is sound advice.
Embrace the madness
We often think that the only way to achieve inner peace is by going off to an ashram. On the contrary, these places of solitude may only work for a moment, and upon return, the sense of peace dissipates the moment someone cuts us off on the highway. Rather than running away to find the quiet, if we learn to quiet the mind while embracing what is in front of us – all the hectic rush and go-go-go, we can begin to achieve real inner peace and perhaps greater compassion for those around us. If you can get outside, take a long walk – without your phone, and embrace the moments while maintaining a steady pace, observing and allowing for whatever arises.
Breathe
We’ve all heard it before – the importance of breath. It’s the foundation in tai chi, yoga, meditation – all of which have been studied for thousands of years to improve mindfulness and inner peace. It shouldn’t be surprising then that thousands of years of practice may be onto something. Emerging research supports this. Pause and take five deep breaths throughout the day. In those five short breaths, it is amazing how much can change. Friendships can be saved, enemies can be won over, and conflicts can be avoided.
Observe with mindfulness
Pauses give us permission to take a step back and consider what is happening without acting or reacting based on what we believe is happening in the moment. This habit, found in mindfulness practices, have shown to improve the coping ability and mental wellbeing, including those of young professionals. Sitting with what is occurring – as comfortable or uncomfortable as it might be – and taking a different perspective on it. By creating space for a moment, we can be more thoughtful about our actions.
Make friends with the mind
The pause can be uncomfortable, particularly when we view our minds as our enemies. It is human for us to question our own logic or decisions. Yet if we dwell on these questions and get frustrated that our “brain betrays us,” we’re never truly at peace. It doesn’t matter how long you spend on the yoga mat if your goal is simply to “sweat it out” or one-up the super-bendy yogi to your left. After all, it isn’t unheard of that we hear disputes erupt in yoga studios or ego battles in retreats. We may be still, but if we continue to battle our minds, we are never truly in pause. Allowing for thoughts – as logical or illogical as they may be – to rise and fall without judgment help to remind us that our minds are our friends.
Laugh
We often take life too seriously. We often beat ourselves up over the shoulda-woulda-coulda. We regret. We get mad at ourselves. This keeps us in a constant loop of acting to react, rather than pause, acknowledge what was, and perhaps even see the absurdity in it all. Monty Python was on to something – life, as serious and dire as it sometimes may be, is something to embrace and yes, even laugh at. When we pause, we can find that tiny sliver where a sense of humor can help us see that all will be well.
